Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Just a bit of fun!

Things that they will never say!

1.       We will bring back hanging.
2.       Immigration will cease.
3.       School grades have not improved this year.
4.       Tax on fuel will be reduced.
5.       Evenin’ All. I am your local bobby.
6.       We will stop rewarding women for producing children.
7.       We will limit child benefits to 2 children.
8.       Unemployment benefit will be limited to two years.
9.       International Development finance will be limited to emergency   disaster aid .
1   No more money will be wasted bailing out the euro.
1   We will deport all foreign criminals
1  We will remove subsidies from the Westminster bars and dining rooms.
1   The new HS2 link is too expensive.
1   Rail prices will fall.
1   You WILL get a referendum on our membership of the European Union.
1.   Scotland will become independent.
1  Climate change was a scam.
1 Chris Huhne is guilty.
1   NHS staff will care about the patients.
 The elderly will die with dignity.

TThis is just for starters! Can you think of anything else? The challenge
is up to you!


Ripper said...

21 We will scrap the TV Licence
22 Petrol prices will be capped at 50p a litre
23 All immigrants will be repatriated
24 All troughing MPs will be made to pay back expenses
25 Tony Blair is to be tried for war crimes
26 The smoking ban will be repealed
27 Every UK government since Heath will be charged with treason
28 Common Purpose will be done away with
29 Both 9/11 and 7/7 were black ops
30 A life sentence will be exactly that
31 All EU directives will be abolished

bryboy said...

I missed quite a lot didn't I Ripper!? Why do we accept all these injustices?

bewick said...

Ha ha. Stopping the reward for "mothers". I like that one.The 18 year old son of a 35/6 year old mother who has 3 kids (all different fathers), and has never worked, reports that his mother is trying to get pregnant. Why? Well her youngest is now 7 so the gravy train is about to stop. Funnily enough the son is working but I rather think in an "unregistered" way.
We have many such as this in my small village. I've heard "no more kids until these 3 are at school"; "I think s/he has autism or ADS" (disability benefit and even a free new car).
The 35/6 year old will no doubt get pregnant at least twice more and will hence manage benefit status from 16-50. Everything provided.
My Sikh friend who runs the village shop sees and hears more than do I. I know of at least 3 families who have managed to "prove" disability where none exists and hence qualify for motability. My friend says there are many more. I'm sure he is right because the newest cars in the village are parked outside housing association properties.

As for your list. Great idea and a candidate for Mock the Week. Sadly it is true that none of those words will be uttered.

bewick said...

32 MPs and Lords who cheated on expenses will be automatically jailed for 2 years and all their assets seized.
33 the House of Lords will be restored as a non-political body with the majority being hereditary peers.
34 those elevated to the Lords will have a tenure of only 5 years
35 Adopted American systems such as salaries for elected councillors will cease forthwith along with elected Mayors.
36. Grammar schools will be restored.
37 Postal voting will cease except for extreme cases as existed formerly.
38 Troops on foreign deployment WILL have postal votes.
39 No person can be a non-exec director of more than 1 company.
40 Britain is abandoning membership of the ECHR

Sorry for any duplication and my pre-occupation with constitutional matters

bryboy said...

Go for it guys! Tks Bewick pal! Anyone else? What about you SAB? Come on Bec you read but never comment! What about my pals at the bowls club or Vetgirl?

SAB said...

I'm loving Ripper's number 27! :-)