Justice Secretary, Chris Grayling, is announcing the biggest shake up in jails for 60 years in an effort to curb a lifestyle that most honest working families could not begin to afford! So what will this entail?
Well amazingly he will stop prisoners watching SKY Sports in televisions in their own cells! What!? When was that nonsense ever introduced into prison life? He may go even further and not even allow televisions in cells!
Then he may not allow them to wear their own clothes and may even introduce 'drab, grey, prison overalls'. I can just see the 'prison reformers', probably paid for by the European Union', gnashing their teeth at this monstrous outrage. It is after all a massive breech of 'Human Rights' to deprive a prisoner of his/her own clothes even though most of them have committed a plethora of crimes to even qualify for prison.
However, even worse is to follow. The right to use 'pocket money' (they get pocket money?) to buy toiletries and sweets could be curbed. I just wonder how much 'pocket money' they actually get and where can they buy their toiletries and sweets? We pay for these luxuries everyone!
Now the next one is hilarious! Gay couples may not be able to share the same cell and may (wait for it) be even moved to separate prisons! It leaves me with the image of a guy lying back on his bed watching Manchester United, in his own clothes, chewing a Mars Bar, smelling sweetly and stroking the head of his lover.
Finally Mr Grayling proposes to disqualify any prisoner from early release if he behaves badly. Well now that is pretty revolutionary! So of course I can see why these decisions could be challenged by special interest groups. What he has actually done however, is to highlight why we have so much crime in our society. He has highlighted that under the Labour party our prisons became luxury holiday camps and the Coalition has so far done nothing about it.
The cost to the hard pressed public must be mountainous in an era where austerity is a byword. There is not one reason why the prison population would want to be returned to society and every reason to believe why they cannot cope once they leave their swish cells, lose their pocket money and possibly their love life! Mr Grayling will have to go much, much further before he will be applauded by me even though he is making a much needed start.
He may even begin to suggest that drugs are banned and that the staff begin to guard the prisoners! Someone recently suggested that a large number of honest, hard-up, pensioners should exchange places with the prison population so that they could achieve a life-style which in modern society is not available to them. Until Mr Grayling badgers the PM and the EU to reverse this trend then the criminal will not have no reason to fear prison life.