Christmas Cheer!

In a radical departure from my normal anti-government and anti-corporate rants let me give you a gift for Christmas.  This remarkable clip was sent to me by my daughter.  I do not know who first thought it up but it was pure genius!  I still feel sorry for the guy who wanted socks and pants!!

A joke that I missed!

Have you seen this joke?

A black guy,
An illegal alien,
A Muslim,
And a Communist
Walk into a bar.

The bartender asks,

“What can I get you, Mr. President?”

17 May 2012 04:25

 

Oops!!

Humour!

This really caught my eye because it encapsulates the modern world! The printer will probably complain about the lack of midwives or the birth pain!


It so sums up the modern world!

Just a bit of fun!

Things that they will never say!

1.       We will bring back hanging.

2.       Immigration will cease.

3.       School grades have not improved this year.

4.       Tax on fuel will be reduced.

5.       Evenin’ All. I am your local bobby.

6.       We will stop rewarding women for producing children.

7.       We will limit child benefits to 2 children.

8.       Unemployment benefit will be limited to two years.

9.       International Development finance will be limited to emergency   disaster aid .

1   No more money will be wasted bailing out the euro.

1   We will deport all foreign criminals

1  We will remove subsidies from the Westminster bars and dining rooms.

1   The new HS2 link is too expensive.

1   Rail prices will fall.

1   You WILL get a referendum on our membership of the European Union.

1.   Scotland will become independent.

1  Climate change was a scam.

1 Chris Huhne is guilty.

1   NHS staff will care about the patients.

2  The elderly will die with dignity.

TThis is just for starters! Can you think of anything else? The challenge
is up to you!

Yesterday I went GoKarting for the first time in my life! It was an absolute blast! I am normally not a 'petrol head' but I have always been able to drive...almost anything, anywhere, which stems from my very early military career with the Royal Artillery. I was in a Missile Regiment and illegally got opportunities to drive vehicles like a 26 ton rocket launcher (with the missile casing mounted) when my speciality was Land Rover +Trailer!

So when my daughter organised this year's Father's Day present as a visit to the local Go Karting track I expected to take it in my stride. Wow! What a shock I got! These GoKarts fly around the track at between 45/50mph and we got 50 laps! The force on the arms and shoulders was unexpected and the competition ferocious. We flew around the indoor track, screeching round chicanes and hairpins.

I would recommend it to anyone BUT it really is not for the 'old'. I am also supposed to have a heart condition (for insurance purposes) even though I  got a clean bill of health from the specialist. Yesterday I proved that I do NOT have a heart condition of any kind because that was 'full on'.

If anyone has a 'daredevil' relative and they are short of a present then that was a very worthwhile experience. I would really like to know how I compared with people of a similar age. The marketing people should look at that angle.

I had to show you this one!

Apparently Fleggards is the Danish equivalent of Tescos or Morrisons. They obviously decided to promote an ad which would catch the attention and advertise Siemen's Washing Machines. This is what they did and I bet it had an impact!

I just love these European commercials!

Put the camera down and give us a hand!!

Remarkably, once again, no animals
were injured in the taking of these
                               photographs!!

Put down the camera and give me a hand!

 

 

 

 

 

I don't think that any animals were hurt during the taking of these photographs!

It is irresistible...!

Can anyone have ever believed one week ago that the all powerful Colonel Ghaddafi could be on the back foot? Can we really believe that his people have turned against him? What has caused this Arabian uprising? More importantly who has caused it? An uprising of the people does not happen country after country unless it has been planned, prepared and financially backed.

Did the oil rich sheikhs become too uppety? Were they trying to upset the New World Order? Did they anger the real masters of the world? I am really beginning to suspect that everything is pre-ordained. The mass immigration into the UK was definitely planned so what else has been planned? The destruction of the Euro? It could almost be a quiz show.

So what will happen next? A World War/? China overtaking the States as the foremost world power? The people of Britain becoming poorer than those in Ethiopia?

I reckon ITV could make this a game show. Simon Cowell could organise it. Guess the World Game! Who will fall next? Is Iran safe? What will they do with North Korea? What will happen to Israel (sorry no prizes for that punt)? Will the rebellion reach Mugabe? I tell you what I believe that I have just lost millions by declaring my hand!

I reckon that Ladbrokes could almost be now on my case! World Politics could be the next Waddingtons Board game (oops there I go again). I look forward to tomorrow but then I have to visit my mother in law for the first time in many years. I will never forgive
the New World Order for organising that!

Best Commercial in Europe!

This was voted the best commercial in Europe!

Side by Side...a warning to all newly weds!

Some guys are just funny!

The Final Frontier!!

This guy is playing with his pet! His name is Chico and the croc is called Pocho! Chico is a Puerto Rican fisherman who saved the croc's life after it had been shot and left for dead! He took it home, like you do, slept with it and fed it up! Chico reckons that he just loves all animals (well he would say that wouldn't he!) and apparently tried to return the croc to water...it got out and followed him home!

Apparently his family was aghast when he first took to the water with his pal (really?) so he had to gain confidence in the croc when nobody was around!! I mean...here he was with a huge croc so he sneaked into the water with him!

Surely this is the final frontier? Already we have bonded with lions (remember Elsa and George Adamson ) gorillas and bears. it just goes to prove that if you are kind to animals then they will respond.

It is just that first step which is kinda risky!

Jumping for Joy!

I suspect that these lads were just frustrated by the rise in fuel prices and decided to get to work on foot! Now where did I put my trainers......?

It could happen to you...if you buy off the top shelf!!

Now this is very funny!